Suri Cruise is nearly two and a half years old. Heaven knows you couldn't forget that if you tried. And while she has more fashion sense than pretty much any other tot on the planet, there is one thing that seems to still give us all pause. No, it's not how her celebrity parents could have actually spawned her, nor is it how much is spent keeping her best-dressed and -tressed. Nah--it's that thing where she's still carrying around a baby bottle.

Yes, still. It seems like this first made the news when Suri was more than a year old and still using a bottle. Like sippy cups are so great. Now she's making headlines again for still sporting the baby bottle--when she's not even really a baby. My question is this: what is the big deal? My kid is nearly seventeen months old and he still occasionally uses a bottle. We've tried really hard to break him of the habit, but, for a while, he simply eschewed the sippy cup. He could use one, sure, but he couldn't get the same amount of milk from the sippy as from the bottle. So, we let him roll with it. Eventually, he switched over to predominantly using the sippy.

I know there are standards and practices for how we're supposed to raise our children. I know that guidelines have been set to help us make our way through this crazy maze called parenthood. But with issues as large as world hunger, violence, abuse and immunizations out there for us to tackle, why does anyone give a rat's butt about whether or not Suri Cruise still uses her baby bottle? I feel sorry for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes--they're busy people who are trying to raise a kid and have full-time jobs too. it ain't easy. And not every kid fits the model she's supposed to. Is it really the end of the world if Suri still uses a bottle?

I was pretty much a klutz growing up. In fact, I still am. But I'm not obese (although in the last two months of my pregnancy I do feel rather large!). Is there any real connection between the two? Perhaps so, if we're to believe the findings of another recent study.

According to a new report on Reuters, there is a growing pool of evidence suggesting such a link between children with poor cognitive function and adults with type 2 diabetes or who are obese. A study of British children between the ages of seven and eleven (that started in 1958) yielded the results: those with the worst congitive skills were also the most likely to be obese later in life. Researchers were quick to point out these children were no larger than the rest of the kids at the time, meaning weight was not to blame for their being clumsy.

In fact, factors such as body mass at childhood and social class were both taken into account and adjusted. The findings were still solid. So what causes the link (if indeed there realy is one)? Well, that is the question, isn;t it? Researchers considered smoking during pregnancy a possibility as well as children not getting enough exercise during childhood--which is critical to developing fine motor skills.

pic by vlauria.

Whether it's from improvements in nutrition or chemicals in the food, the fact is many children are physically maturing at a much earlier age. While menstruation used to start around age 12, girls are reaching that developmental milestone much earlier, which is one of the reason salons are seeing the age of hair removal clients getting younger and younger.

"It's not uncommon for girls to get their period at 9 or 10 years old, and with that development comes increased hair growth," said Dr. Doris Pastor, a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Taking an early developer's feelings into consideration and getting hair removal at a young age to prevent or curb teasing is one thing, but salon workers see more than just motherly concern from some women. Many pre-teen hair removal appointments are for girls accompanied by women who appear to be trying to make their daughters look perfect.

"I had a mother who brought her daughter in, pulled up her shirt and asked us to wax the girl's back. The hair didn't seem to be bothering the little girl, but the mom was embarrassed and wanted it done," said Diane Fisher, owner of Eclips Salon and Eclips Kids Day Spa in McLean and Ashburn, Va. "I told the mom to wait until the child wanted it, but she refused." That little girl was just six years old.

Humans aren't supposed to be completely hairless save for the top of their head and eyebrows, but it seems like the new ideal is to look like a life-size Bratz doll. That there are mothers so invested in the appearance of their kindergartner's backs that they're willing to pay to have hot wax applied and the hair yanked off appalls me.

What is going on with the adults?!

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It can be tough to travel when you have a family. Being away from your little ones can be as tough as the grueling red eyes, hard hotel beds and crazy meeting schedules that await you. For parents of children with special needs who find themselves business travellers as well, another layer of challenges present themselves.

In response, the parents have become quite creative in handling a hectic work schedule and managing the care of their special needs children. In a recent New York Times article, parents of special needs children discuss how they manage family and career. One child, with Prader Willi syndrome, took a trip with his travelling parent. His meals were portion-controlled and given to him every three hours. The meals were pre-made and frozen in a giant grid.

Other children require shots given with a specific technique or visits to specialists. Some parents, rather than try to cobble their family's schedule around their job, do it the other way around. Or, one parent will take on the schedule so the other parent can avoid all the appointments and have a less hectic day. Still other parents enlist the help of parents, friends and nannies. Some have even gone so far as to get help outside their regular circle by using services like sittercity.com, which helps match children with special needs with the appropriate caregiver.

The article offers some good resources for parents. Any additional thoughts or suggestions not covered by the article?

As many of you may know, I have a sixteen-month-old-son. When I first became pregnant I never thought whether I wanted a boy or a girl. I was simply thrilled to be having a child at all, and wanted only a happy, healthy child--the sex of the baby was inconsequential. Then, at one point I found out I would be having a son. I was an only child and a girl and knew not the first thing about having, and raising, a little boy. Now I'm on track with my second child, a little girl. I'm nervous and flustered and wondering just how different raising a child of the opposite sex will be. After all, I've had experience raising a baby, but he is all boy, all the time.

Is there such a difference in raising children of the opposite sex? Ask anyone, whether or not they're parents, and they'll have a pretty strong opinion about the world of boys vs girls. For example, when I found out I was having a girl, the pink clothing literally started pouring in. Everything is pink! When I was pregnant with my son I received clothes in all manner of colors, but not with my daughter. People also always comment that boys are much more rambunctious than girls in the beginning, but that girls are ever so much harder to deal with as teenagers--and that as the would-be mother of a teenage girl I have a lot of drama to look forward to.

The only real difference I've come across in my research is how you change a diaper. For girls you simply wipe in a different direction than with boys. Perhaps there's a little more clean-up involved as you're dealing with internal parts as opposed to external parts, but really that's the only difference I can discern. All of my friends who have two children, oddly enough, started out with a boy and then followed up with a girl. They all say that there is a real difference, even if it can't be defined in words, to raising a boy vs a girl.

Thoughts? Is there any real difference? Is it just society straining its concept of norms over us? Or is there more to raising girls than pink clothing that makes them intrinsically different than boys? After all, aren't little boys made of snails and puppy dog tails and such, while girls are made of sugar and spice?

In the United States, we've tried to ban the word "fat" and have replaced it with the word "obese." This may or may not be having much of an impact on our nation or our youth as our waistlines continue to get bigger (while our wallets become smaller!). One person I know quite well, however, was in denial about his weight as a teenager until he saw a doctor write the word "obese" on his report during the physical he was required to get before he left for college. That person, at that exact point, took charge of his weight and his life.

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As for the UK, Primary Care Trusts, or PCTs, are being guided to measure children's height and weight at ages five and eleven. Parents can choose not to participate, and so can their children. In the event that both do choose to participate, the measurements will be sent by letter to the parents and not the children. Naturally, a good portion of the obese children are not participating in the measurements, thereby negating the attempt to correct the situation. Children as little as seven years of age are being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which was unheard of in the UK a decade ago.

What do you think? Should we go back to calling people fat? Should we call them obese? Should we only be telling their parents? Is there a good approach to any of this? I'd have to go with a quote from Aaron Neville on this one: Tell it like it is.

Pic by bethography - melting mama.

Is it ok to set potty training deadlines? I mean for ourselves as well as our kids. Way back when it seems children were potty trained pretty quickly. Now, common wisdom holds you wait until the kid is at least three or that each child takes as long as necessary for that child to, er, get on the pot, so to speak. On the other side of the coin, though, many children must be potty trained in order to attend preschool or daycare.

But when is the right time? How do you tell when the right time is for your child? Also, with that in mind, is it ok to set goals, of any sort, for your child? I have a friend who decided she was spacing her children apart enough so that she would never have two babies in diapers at the same time. This would mean the first one would have to be toilet trained by the time the second one came along. No way of knowing whether or not that would be possible, of course, as every child is different, but it's a noble effort.

I would love it if my sixteen-month-old son were potty trained by the time he hit two years old. I don't know if this is realistic or laughable. I don't even know when a good time to get started on the training is. A colleague of mine, who is from another country, said that in her homeland the children started toilet training as soon as they were able to sit up on their own! She said she knew of kids as young as six months being potty trained! And why two years old for me as a deadline? I don't mind changing two sets of diapers, but I do mind the cost (if I go with disposables). Also, the thought of only one child in diapers at a time has its appeal. Finally, maybe what it all comes down to is that it just seems like the "right" time.

What about you? Did you set deadlines for potty training?

Parents worry about their children. New parents, especially, often wonder and wish for a set of rules to follow or a guide to carry them through the exciting and sometimes terrifying adventure that is child-rearing. Hence, the birth of the milestone. At a certain age your child should be able to smile, sit up, crawl, walk, talk, and eventually talk back to you.

Many of us breathe a sigh of relief to have these guideposts to help us. We delight in being able to check items off the list--yes, little Bobby smiled at the "right" time; whew--Sally walked by her first birthday. Mainly, though, it's the stuff before the "whew" that gets us. Many of us spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not our children will meet those milestones; some of us worry more when our kids don't hit the mark. Milestones are also used as a way of detecting developmental disorders, especially when a child goes far beyond missing a mark.

And who sets that mark? Well, milestones are really just a set of commonly held notions. Thousands and thousands of children are surveyed and studied and the average age of what they do when becomes the milestone. Hence, it is possible for a milestone to change based on new data. New data takes a long time to produce and cement, of course--markers don't change based on the experience of one or ten or even hundreds of children. Rather, the ranges of times associated with the milestones increase or decrease over time.

To many of us, having a range is further reassurance that we should let our kids take their time, that eventually, at their own pace, our children will reach those milestones. But, come on, admit it--you still worry, right? Or do you? Some parents I suppose are born with the ability to just relax and let things come. Others of us? Well, we still worry. What about you--do you follow the milestone markers to the "T" or do you just not worry about it?

When it comes to describing a baby's smile, words like "addictive" and "intoxicating" are frequently used to explain the feeling those gummy rays of happiness have on exhausted parents when they finally appear on Baby's face at around 6 weeks of age.

A recent study has people marveling just how accurate those descriptors were. When new mothers were shown photographs of smiling infants, the picture of their own smiling baby triggered a surge of dopamine in their brain, the same chemical the body produces when a person uses drugs, alcohol, or nicotine.

These findings of the study may assist scientists in understanding why some mothers fail to bond with their children and lead to early treatment. Unattached parents can lead to children suffering from abuse or neglect.

So when Huey Lewis sang about wanting a new drug, it turns out all he really needed was a baby!

• One out of five 13 and 14-year-olds responded that they knew a friend who was physically abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Half said that they know someone who was verbally abused.
• Nine percent of 11 to 12-year-olds say that their friends have sex.
• Nearly 70% of kids who have sex before they turn 14 experience some kind of abuse.
• Half of all tweens who responded didn't know the warning signs of an abusive relationship.
• Significant numbers of tweens and teens experienced abuse through the use of technology (IMing, texting, etc).

We've been taught for ages now the importance of reading to our children. From the earliest age, and even in the womb (your child can hear as soon as her ears form, even if she can't see the pictures from in the womb), parents are being instructed to read to their little ones.

Why? Well, it's supposed to make 'em smarter. Now, apparently, it makes them more tolerable nicer too. Just when you thought you couldn't possibly read Goodnight Moon ONE MORE TIME comes reason to celebrate doing so. Researchers reported to The Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology that kids whose parents gave them plenty of intellectual stimulation--that's reading to them, talking to them, etc.--during their first year of life were less likely to have behavior issues such as bullying and disobeying their parents. The study was conducted on 1,863 U.S. children and their mothers (but not their fathers, oddly enough).

Naturally, that theory only goes so far. The temperament of the child during her infant stage also plays a large part in determining how she'll be later. The actual article, however, deflects back onto the parenting skills and makes a case for giving parents the skills they need to do the job right.

Many of you may remember the television show Arrested Development. While critically acclaimed it didn't get much viewership, despite being very funny and witty. Perhaps it was because the show centered around yet another dysfunctional family, this one set in affluent California. Many, however, possibly a little too much, related to the crazy antics of the family and were sad to see them go when the show was canceled after three seasons.

Now, the stars of the show have another chance to reclaim some glory as Arrested Develoment becomes a movie, like many shows before it--the Simpsons comes to mind; while Homer and Bart put the "D" in dysfunctional, their show wasn't canceled. Jeffrey Tambor, who plays the imprisoned (and escapee) patriarch of the Bluth family, is especially excited to be rejoining his fellow castmates on the big screen, which includes Jason Bateman (on whom I've had a crush since I was a kid) and Portia De Rossi.

Are you looking forward to the Arrested Development movie? Are the Bluths your favorite dysfunctional tv family, or are the Simpsons more your speed?

Time Magazine recently interviewed an editor-at-large from popular magazine Psychology Today. The topic? Children, and whether or not we're turning our kids into wimps. Hara Estroff Marano, the interviewee, had much to say on the subject of children, and how we raise them. Marano, who is also a grandmother and author of a new book titled A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, says we are turning our kids into wimps. She says we need to let our kids have bad experiences as it's the only way they learn.

Marano pointed out her research on the college campus, noting that her colleagues commented that many of the students they were treating lacked coping skills. Says Marano, "...they have no idea how to manage the vicissitudes of life." Why has this happened? Well, according to Marano we're worried about our kids being successful. We push them too hard to achieve, and we worry more about branding than experience, focusing on sending them to the best schools, etc., when perhaps the brand name of Harvard or Yale is not what they need. Access to information through the Internet makes everything fleeting and transitional and ultimately obsolete before we can even understand it fully.

Marano also argues, along with much of our nation, that our children are being over-medicated and that play time is not valued as it should be. And, shocker, she feels we're too involved in every aspect of our children's lives. So how to deal? Well, according to Marano, we need to step back, let kids prove their competence, let them play, and make sure we eat together five times a week. I don't know if doing these things will save our kids from being wimps, or if they're wimps in the first place, but she does provide an interesting perspective.

Your thoughts? Do you think we overprotect our children and undervalue their ability? Or is that what it takes to get through this crazy modern world?

Pic by summitcheese.